Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night

One day, while singing at the rest home, I thought I'd try something new and throw a little Mason Jennings in the usual mix of "You Are My Sunshine" and "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean". That was the last day of my career.

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Matrix

So about three months ago I started dating a lovely girl named Emily Allen and everything was going great. We'd laugh all the time, talk about nothing, stay up know, the usual enfatuation routine. One day recently, she approached me with a proposition. She told me that the world as I knew it was nothing more than a computer simulated program injected into my brain telling me that I was having life experience, all while my real body was sitting in a pod of goo about a thousand feet up on a steel pole in the "real world". "Back in 1998", she said, "the machines took over and the destroyed the human race except for a few hundred of us who live deep under the ground."
I believed her instantly. She gave me a red pill and my life has never been the same...
Last weekend, we went on a road trip down to Moab (in the Matrix) where this photo was taken of her. It's pretty cool, I guess, because now she can move in what looks like slow motion on camera, but is actually lightning fast. Ha, it sure is neat. I'm currently working on trying to dunk it still and it's going ok. I guess it's just all in my mind or some crap like that.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Sunlight Freckles on Cowboy Faces

Due to the high volume of questions I have recieved about the line in the previous post, "sunlight freckles on Cowboy faces", I have decided to clarify what that means. In short, it means precisely what it says.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Hippies and Poetry

Another weekend trip to St. George produces oh so much good in life. Showtune performances, fake tattoos, late night disappearances, being let down by Irmitas for the first time in 10 years, church attempts, neighborhood camping, sunlight freckles on cowboy faces, blind girl driving, poetic conversation, laughter, laughter, convulsing laughter.

The word according to Jentry H. Miskin:

Crimson spires towering my thoughts
Blue skies contours on richened rock

Show tunes by Lentz top the tye
Mark christens morning poetry

Crux climbs in the Reggie of my mind
Eagle squawks from petite entertainment

Photo shots in the handsome of my past
Sterling support of crack-stabbed ropes

Midnight runs and blindside bouldering
Comfort zone clashes in crescendo h.core

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Is Richard...

This is a game and an IQ test in one. A game because it's probably more fun than any other thing you've ever done in your life. An IQ test because it's probably harder than any other test you've ever taken. Periodically you will see such tests as this one thrown into the mix of the blog content. This is in keeping with the mandatory educational requirement issued by the Federation of Associated Bloggers Corporation Association Organization Incorporated, or better known as FABCAO Inc. The requirement states that 20% of all blog content be used to educate the general public in ways unimaginable to the general public. That being said, I wish the general public the very best on this first of many brain teasers.

Study the image below. Please make sure you have a #2 pencil and a sheet of scratch paper. You have 1 hour to complete this section.

In the image below, is Richard...

a) physically being blown away by the luscious scenery.
b) trying to bend down just enough to make the top of his head tangent to the mountain horizon in the distance.
c) imagining himself peeing 30 feet off a cliff on unsuspecting people below.
d) trying to squeeze tight to keep from CRAPPING HIS PANTS!
e) imagining himself hangin ten.
f) something else...

*Click on the image for a better view*

Friday, March 2, 2007

Health Inspector

About a week ago I came down with the flu and let me tell you it was a horrible experience. Fortunately for me it was the respitory flu and not the stomach flu, because even though diarrhea can be super fun, throwing up is just too much to handle. So, I was grateful that I only had to deal with muscle aches, headaches, an irritable disposition and a nasty cough.

Sometimes though, it's in these moments of weakness that we find our greatest inspiration. Last week, as I lay dying in my room, breathing in a cloud of sickness and despair, I mustered up the strength to put this track together in Garage Band. I would categorize it as "fantastically crappy". Click on the play button below to hear it.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Numb and Stingy

I thought I'd dedicate my first entry to the grand master himself. Garred, you are an inspiration to all of us (all of us Dave's out there).

More to come from your best friend Dave as I get better at this. In the mean time, I hope you all will enjoy this rare footage. This illusive and notorious creature has plagued Mexican farms for Centuries, feasting on the meat of unsuspecting goats and innocent small children. This is the only actual photo ever captured of this ferocious beast. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:

The Chupacabra