your best friend Dave

Sorry friends...

2009-04-25T17:31:00.002-06:00

Dear Friends,
I'm sorry to say that I am no longer a blogging man. The story goes something like this:

I hated facebook.
I signed up for it for networking purposes before going to business school.
Now all my blogging energy and pictures and attempts at humor are posted there.
I fell into the trap and now can't get out.
But to be quite honest, I think it's way more useful than the blog.
So there I will be.

Love dave.

This is me saying goodbye to the world of blogging. At least for now.

Holiday Season Shots

2009-01-09T01:59:00.005-07:00

Christmas was very merry and the strike of the New Year at 12 am was pretty normal, as usual.
Some of my favorites from the last two weeks:

Allie's fingernails

Space Needle

Pike Street Market at night

Waiting for Laura to finish being popular

Lizzy's cried out eyes

Mr. Snowman at 1am out in the middle of frozen Island Park Lake

On the way to Park City

MISSING!

2008-12-01T21:15:00.001-07:00

IF YOU KNOW THE WHEREABOUTS OF THIS YOUNG MAN PLEASE CONTACT DAVE CRUMP. HE HAS SUDDENLY VANISHED FROM THE BLOGGING WORLD THAT HE WAS SO MUCH AN INTEGRAL PART OF.

Blog faux pas...an example

2008-11-27T00:46:00.003-07:00

Blog faux pas #1

Never follow a post that involves children with a post of the mustache version of yourself.

An example of this would be...

The Bobbins

2008-10-30T00:54:00.003-06:00

I wanted to see what it feels like to have a blog and have kids. Anyone and everyone I know who has kids and has a blog cannot seem to put anything else on the blog besides pictures of the kids. I don't really have a problem with that at all, I just wanted to see if it's as exhilarating as I expect it to be.

I go to school with this guy

2008-10-10T02:06:00.001-06:00

There are about 10 guys in my classes who look and act just like this guy. Whoever he is...he looks really strong and cool.

ONCE....

2008-09-26T16:35:00.003-06:00

This is a good movie. It's also a good soundtrack. Nobody should be missing out on either of those two things.

Thunderbird School of Global Management

2008-09-20T15:48:00.002-06:00

This is Ting Shen from China - one of the many great people here at Thunderbird who knows when to hold 'em and knows when to fold 'em. She is definitely folding in this picture after a long week of school comes to an end.

Back in August I embarked on this epic journey of Graduate school at Thunderbird. Here are some of the key experiences to date:

1. Eating at In n Out almost every day for a week.

2. Dancing my face off at the School Pub on Thursday nights.

3. Doing homework every spare and waking moment that I have.

4. Buying a movie theater to put in my apartment - no regrets, and still no regrets.

5. 10 minutes outside at 3pm = skin melting off your body

6. Meeting some of the most fantastic people I have ever met from all over the world.

AND 7. Multi-cultural Rock Climbing, below our group is listed from last night:

Me - Salt Lake City
Rich - Salt Lake City
Stephanie - Chicago
Craig - Lousiville
My Hao - Vietnam
Ting Shen - China
Sohei - Japan
Hani - Palestine
Yulia - Russia

THE WORLD IS FULL OF FANTASTIC PEOPLE

Cheeky, Cheeky Monkey!

2008-08-09T10:37:00.004-06:00

WARNING TO ALL - Monkeys are not safe to play with!

At first they seem so shy and cute, but that is exactly their plan. They want to lure you in so they can:

A) bite your f-ing arm
B) Poo all f-ing over you
C) steal your camera or f-ing passport

I'm am the worst sucker of all too because I have already chalked up both B and C on the old experience list. You'd think that by now I'd have learned my lesson about Monkeys. This one below just looked at me with those dark innocent eyes and shyly came towards me. He reached up cautiously with one hand and touched my arm, then he put the other on as well. I was stupidly baby talking to him when he BIT MY F-ING ARM OUT OF NOWHERE! Then he quickly ran away to his tree and stared at me. I'm surprised he didn't start throwing poo at me.

Anyway people, take heed. Lock up your children. Store up your Cream of Wheat and Eggo waffles. The monkeys will soon be upon us and no one will be able to resist their cuteness and get away with out bitten arms and a poo shower.

2008-07-02T23:21:00.003-06:00

Today I was grateful for my Mom. We"ve been buddies since 1980.

R rated movies in 6th grade

2008-06-05T10:26:00.003-06:00

When I was in 6th grade I loved Jean Claude Van Damme movies. Of course we couldn't rent them because we were underage, so we devised a plan that would enable us to feed our Van Damme appetites. One of us (my friend Kanon Knaphus and I) would go to Video Verns on our bike, and the other would stay home and play "dad". When we would take the movie up to the counter they would say, "I'm going to have to call your parents and get permission for you to rent this movie". "Ok", we'd say, "I think my dad's home now". Kanon would then answer in his deepest voice and pretend to be my dad giving me permission.

The weirdest part about it is that this worked every single time. I mean who were those morons working at video verns anyway? Can't you tell when you are talking to a 12 year old kid who hasn't hit puberty yet? I mean seriously! I don't know how that ever worked. (Sorry, if you worked at Video Verns during the years 1992 - 1995 then I must apologize...you are a moron)

here's to you Jean Claude Van Damme! a tribute to the greatest kickboxer ever.

I think I'm going to puke.

2008-06-04T09:06:00.002-06:00

I just acutally went through my blog and realized how many pictures there are of me on here, and more especially, how many of them show me without my shirt on. I apologize to anyone who stops here and thinks, "wow, this guy really is obsessed with himself".

Now I can see why marriage is a good thing. When you are married, no one gets blog time but your damn kids. I need some damn kids so I can stop acting so self-centered.

Anyone want to help out with that?

Match.com works!

2008-05-29T08:09:00.002-06:00

I met my match on match.com! And I know that you can too!

Actually it was my boss, Ryan Allen, who searched far and wide and eventually came up with my match. Can you decide who is the real Dave Crump and who is the imposter?
I'm having a hard time deciding myself.

un filme français

2008-05-19T23:47:00.004-06:00

I might be mistaken, but isn't this the cover of "The Little Mermaid"? I think the penis hidden on the castle is a little less subtle in the french version.

Mutants among us!

2008-05-18T02:11:00.008-06:00

This is the reason I spent $2000 on camera equipment. Shake your head, snap a picture...the fun just never stops. I spent a week in Kauai and half of my pictures ended up being these types of pictures. I think that means I am an idiot.

Vonder Boy Returns!!!

2008-04-29T00:12:00.004-06:00

The newest hit single from the popular German band "Vonder Boy". Hold on to your butt cracks!

Click on the play button to hear the smash hit that has all of Europe in a frenzy!

Tax day, Birth day

2008-04-15T23:26:00.003-06:00

For the first time in my life I have realized that having my birthday on tax day might not be such a good thing for me. Therefore, from this time forth I am now changing my birthday to april 16th so I don't get caught in a sick tax mess like I did today - as far as I'm concerned, my birthday started at 4:15 pm when I mailed my forms off. Anyway, my new birthday is in like 15 minutes so Happy Birthday Dave!!! Here we go again!!

Just in case you didn't notice, there's not much to this post. I'm trying to find my sea legs again little by little. I apologize for the mediocrity.

I'm goin' to Jackson...

2008-03-02T10:20:00.005-07:00

Stopped in Jackson Hole two weekends ago. We waited about 20 minutes for the clouds to clear away from the Tetons. When they finally cleared, we sighed, gave them a firm handshake, thanked them for always being there for us, and then we left. It probably didn't even matter to them, I mean, they have thousands of people from all over the world visit them every year - what importance could a couple of kids from Utah be to them? Well you know what Tetons? I DON'T NEED YOU!! So get off of your high horse and screw yourselves!! WE DIDN'T WAIT FOR CLOUDS TO CLEAR FOR 20 MINUTES JUST TO GET TREATED LIKE NOBODY'S!!! You and your "majestic peaks"....ah fewey!! NO ONE CARES!

We had a good time.

2007-12-10T21:50:00.000-07:00

I wanted to post something so I didn't have to look at my face anymore on my blog.

So... Merry Christmas to all who stop here, even if it's by accident. Dave loves you!

Click play below and have a listen...

2007-11-07T20:36:00.001-07:00

So now that I work full time, life has really become...different. I get up early, work all day and end up staying late because I'm so swamped that I can't stand it. Since I started, my going to bed routine has changed from what it used to be. Please see below:

A sunset and no shoulder

2007-08-18T23:58:00.000-06:00

Earlier tonight I went to Carlsbad beach to take some pictures of whatever I found there. I just so happened to stumble upon a lovely sunset and I thought what a shame it was that I did not have a shoulder to lean on. So as the sun descended, I pressed my ear against my own shoulder and that did the trick just fine. Suddenly I didn't feel so alone in such a big crowded state...I just felt dumb, but that's better than feeling alone.

The rest of the sunset pics are posted in my web album. Give it a gander if you feel so inclined.

Twirls na Praia

2007-07-17T00:22:00.000-06:00

Oh Joy.

When work doesn't go my way

2007-07-14T16:42:00.000-06:00

I have a new work strategy to help me sell the best I can while I'm here in Cali. On days that I go out and don't sell anything, I force myself to go to the local gas station and get the biggest drink available and drink all of it on the drive home. It's sort of my punishment for not performing well. In most cases, the cup size is ridiculously huge (64 oz.) and ends up weighing about 5 pounds when full. I know one day I'll go in to a gas station and the biggest cup is going to be some kind of bucket thing...and I'll have to get it, and I'll have to drink ALL of it too. Hopefully I don't have any more "no sale" days.

A curious photograph

2007-07-07T23:50:00.000-06:00

Can anyone identify the large man lurking in the shadows at the pottery shop? All I got was this profile of his shadow.

Redeeming the French

2007-07-05T23:57:00.000-06:00

There are a few things, as far as I'm concerned, that are active forces working toward a redemption of the French. They are as follows:

1. The film "Paris, je'taime."
2. A fond memory of sitting on a rock in southern France. Those who were there know.
3. A fond memory of being in a small market in southern France and having my brain turned to mush.
4. Keren Ann's album "Nolita". Just have a listen...you'll feel better about our arrogant friends across the ocean in no time.

First day of work technical foul

2007-06-25T23:28:00.000-06:00

Hi. My name is Dave, and I'm a boss. It's a title that is rather new to me...and it's a mantle that fits on my shoulders about as comfortably as a shoulder ride for Robert Hufford. Robert Hufford is fat in case you didn't know. And he smells bad.

Over the weekend, I saw an opportunity to expand our vast workforce of 3 sales reps to an even 4. He was a nice kid of 23 years and he was looking for a job. I told him he could start Monday.

Today was Monday, his first day and also his last day. After showing up to work with thug-like shorts and black socks pulled up to mid calf, he thought that wearing his cool sunglasses would be a good idea while trying talk to people about Pest Control at their doors. "Fine", I thought..."honest mistakes. The kinks will smooth themselves out." We headed out of the car and to the first door. A "snap" sound caught my attention and I looked back at him just in time to see him hit his chew box one more time to pack it well. He opened the box, pulled out a pinch of chew and stuffed it under his lip and said, "ok, I'm ready now."

I must say that as his boss, I was thoroughly impressed. I mean, on your first day of work, if you are looking to impress the person who hired you, be sure to bring your chewing tobacco and be ABSOLUTELY SURE that you pack it put it under you lip right in front of him. If you want to know the biggest sales secret known to man, there it is, try to talk to people and make a good impression on potential clients with some snuff making your lip fat.

Now I have to be a real boss and fire poor kid tomorrow. I guess now I know how Donald Trump feels all the time on his show. Dang! That's rough Don. All I know is that I want Robert Hufford off of my shoulders as soon as possible. Robert is fat, just in case you didn't know. And he's a liar.

Garred you're right

2007-06-21T00:29:00.000-06:00

Dear Garred

You're right. That probably is the gayest post I've done yet. You've always had a keen eye for when I'm being gay and need to be corrected - kind of like that one time on the cruise when I was wearing tuxedo shorts and the indonesian janitor asked me if I had "any gay DVD". Not even just "a gay DVD", he wanted "any gay DVD". That was one desperate gay indonesian janitor.

I'll do my best in the future to not dissapoint. If I have to post something gay again, I'll be sure to include a picture of a girl I'm really attracted to at the bottom just so everyone knows that they are in a hetero cyberspace...there is, however, no smoking in this space and absolutely no running by the pool under any circumstances. Those are the only rules. I don't know what this post is even about anymore. Over and out.

Love Dave.

Tribute to the song

2007-06-12T23:20:00.000-06:00

This is a song of songs. Nothing new about it, I've been listening to it for a couple years now. When you listen to it, see if it doesn't match your mood. I listen to it when I'm happy...it fits. I listen to it when I'm sad...it fits. When I'm somewhere in between, it fits. It has a bit of a Mona Lisa smile to it I guess. I listen to it after selling all day long and getting my butt kicked out there...it fits. This is Loro by Pinback.

Dave, Spence and the Amazon

2007-06-11T12:45:00.000-06:00

I'm just learning how to use imovie so I put together this clip of Spence and me in Brazil last November. It's all worth it for the video at the end.

Dinner with David Episode 1

2007-05-31T23:56:00.000-06:00

I knew something like this was bound to happen sooner or later out here...

Breakin Bottles...

2007-05-29T15:25:00.000-06:00

Sunday Nights in the SD...a direct rival to the OC.

Ssshhhowtime, Ssshhowtime...

2007-05-21T22:18:00.000-06:00

just some of the highlights of the recent "dude's cruise + Amanda" (one of the only girls in the world who is cool enough to hang all week on a boat with us).

The first thing I noticed about the ship was this amazing "TRON" backdrop. We were totally in the future there.

There is no softer place than Jentry's stomach...I think all of us can attest to that.

Words cannot describe this...

No, Garred is not drunk. Although I don't expect anyone to believe that cause...how could he not be drunk?

Getting ready for the night at the club was a very important time. I'm glad I was able to catch the energy of the moment in this.

Docked at Cozumel. That is one big floating symbol of great American trash.

Cool sunburn Dave...you freakin loser.

Carson and me. We really get a kick out of each other.

Chichen Itza. No one seems to notice the big Ancient temple right behind them.

Jentry show's on? Sorry Mayan temple, you're cool - but not that cool. On with the show!

uh.

un huh.

Dig.

oh my. Happy Ending.

Garred was being called home by some inaudible language. We almost lost him for good.

Wow. No wonder we almost lost him.

wow.

Ancient Columns...

Are meant to be climbed on.

You can imagine why most of us eventually got kicked out of the park.

More columns.

Bought a Coke from this kid's mom. Instead of School, he's selling Coke at Chichen Itza. I wished he was selling fried chicken though...that would have hit the spot.

We came back to our room and our room steward had made a towel sculpture for us. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that's male genitalia and NOT a cute little animal of some sort.

My most photogenic night ever!!

2007-05-19T23:09:00.000-06:00

Today I was looking at some old photos when I noticed that there was a certain group of them that were simply...phenomenal. I just can't explain it. "I have never looked so good in my life", I thought to myself as I felt a sudden rush of butterflies permeate my chest - some of them getting caught in the dense forest of chest hair. What was this feeling? Was I so good looking in these pictures that I myself was brought to blush at the sight of such exquisite beauty? Simply Phenomenal. I wonder what other people must think? I sincerely hope I don't end up breaking up any marriages or turning too many strait men gay. Being this good looking is difficult...it's the biggest burden I have been called to bear in my short life. I think it was Uncle Ben in "Spiderman" that said, "Remember Peter, with great power comes great responsiblity". I'll remember that Uncle Ben, I'll never forget you. I love you.

All of these pictures were taken on the same night if you can believe that.

Where da Party at??

2007-05-19T19:45:00.000-06:00

I live in California now. Hence the cool shades. I have no life here outside of work. That is why I am posting to my blog on a Saturday night at 7 pm. That is how cool I am. This place instantly makes people cool. CALIFORN-I-A!!

Drug Awareness Week

2007-04-17T18:18:00.000-06:00

I'm posting this important clip in support of National Drug Awareness Week. I have no idea when that week is...but when it comes, my blog and I will be ready.

Vonder Boy

2007-04-05T01:31:00.000-06:00

This is the latest from the hit German Band Vonder Boy (Wonder Boy in English). They are really huge in Europe right now. The lead singer (pictured below) apparently is a musical genius and I also read that he's currently dating one of the Spice girls. I got these rare pics from a fan website. Click below to hear their new song.

click here for the song "Vonder Boy"

Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night

2007-03-28T11:25:00.000-06:00

One day, while singing at the rest home, I thought I'd try something new and throw a little Mason Jennings in the usual mix of "You Are My Sunshine" and "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean". That was the last day of my career.

The Matrix

2007-03-23T10:04:00.000-06:00

So about three months ago I started dating a lovely girl named Emily Allen and everything was going great. We'd laugh all the time, talk about nothing, stay up late...you know, the usual enfatuation routine. One day recently, she approached me with a proposition. She told me that the world as I knew it was nothing more than a computer simulated program injected into my brain telling me that I was having life experience, all while my real body was sitting in a pod of goo about a thousand feet up on a steel pole in the "real world". "Back in 1998", she said, "the machines took over and the destroyed the human race except for a few hundred of us who live deep under the ground."
I believed her instantly. She gave me a red pill and my life has never been the same...
Last weekend, we went on a road trip down to Moab (in the Matrix) where this photo was taken of her. It's pretty cool, I guess, because now she can move in what looks like slow motion on camera, but is actually lightning fast. Ha, it sure is neat. I'm currently working on trying to dunk it still and it's going ok. I guess it's just all in my mind or some crap like that.

Sunlight Freckles on Cowboy Faces

2007-03-14T13:34:00.000-06:00

Due to the high volume of questions I have recieved about the line in the previous post, "sunlight freckles on Cowboy faces", I have decided to clarify what that means. In short, it means precisely what it says.

Hippies and Poetry

2007-03-13T12:17:00.000-06:00

Another weekend trip to St. George produces oh so much good in life. Showtune performances, fake tattoos, late night disappearances, being let down by Irmitas for the first time in 10 years, church attempts, neighborhood camping, sunlight freckles on cowboy faces, blind girl driving, poetic conversation, laughter, laughter, convulsing laughter.

The word according to Jentry H. Miskin:

Crimson spires towering my thoughts
Blue skies contours on richened rock

Show tunes by Lentz top the tye
Mark christens morning poetry

Crux climbs in the Reggie of my mind
Eagle squawks from petite entertainment

Photo shots in the handsome of my past
Sterling support of crack-stabbed ropes

Midnight runs and blindside bouldering
Comfort zone clashes in crescendo h.core

Is Richard...

2007-03-07T23:33:00.000-07:00

This is a game and an IQ test in one. A game because it's probably more fun than any other thing you've ever done in your life. An IQ test because it's probably harder than any other test you've ever taken. Periodically you will see such tests as this one thrown into the mix of the blog content. This is in keeping with the mandatory educational requirement issued by the Federation of Associated Bloggers Corporation Association Organization Incorporated, or better known as FABCAO Inc. The requirement states that 20% of all blog content be used to educate the general public in ways unimaginable to the general public. That being said, I wish the general public the very best on this first of many brain teasers.

Study the image below. Please make sure you have a #2 pencil and a sheet of scratch paper. You have 1 hour to complete this section.

In the image below, is Richard...

a) physically being blown away by the luscious scenery.
b) trying to bend down just enough to make the top of his head tangent to the mountain horizon in the distance.
c) imagining himself peeing 30 feet off a cliff on unsuspecting people below.
d) trying to squeeze tight to keep from CRAPPING HIS PANTS!
e) imagining himself hangin ten.
...or...
f) something else...

*Click on the image for a better view*

Health Inspector

2007-03-02T16:23:00.001-07:00

About a week ago I came down with the flu and let me tell you it was a horrible experience. Fortunately for me it was the respitory flu and not the stomach flu, because even though diarrhea can be super fun, throwing up is just too much to handle. So, I was grateful that I only had to deal with muscle aches, headaches, an irritable disposition and a nasty cough.

Sometimes though, it's in these moments of weakness that we find our greatest inspiration. Last week, as I lay dying in my room, breathing in a cloud of sickness and despair, I mustered up the strength to put this track together in Garage Band. I would categorize it as "fantastically crappy". Click on the play button below to hear it.

Numb and Stingy

2007-03-01T14:32:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd dedicate my first entry to the grand master himself. Garred, you are an inspiration to all of us (all of us Dave's out there).

More to come from your best friend Dave as I get better at this. In the mean time, I hope you all will enjoy this rare footage. This illusive and notorious creature has plagued Mexican farms for Centuries, feasting on the meat of unsuspecting goats and innocent small children. This is the only actual photo ever captured of this ferocious beast. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:

The Chupacabra